upgrading "PC" joke

Got this email joke from a friend today, quite interesting so i replied in the last para.
Dear Tech Support Team:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0installed itself into all other programs and nowmonitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3,PokerNights 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, Bowling 7.0and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the systemwhenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 inthe background while attempting to run my favoriteapplications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 ,but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks, "A Troubled User"

> Dear Troubled User:
> This is a very common problem that people complain> about.
> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0
> , thinking that it is just a Utilities and> Entertainment program.
> Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by
> its Creator to run EVERYTHING!! !
> It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to> return to Girlfriend 5.0.
> It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program
> files from the system once installed.
> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife
> 1.0 is designed not to allow this.
> I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on
> improving the environment.
> I suggest installing the background application "Yes> Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
> The best course of action is to enter the command
> C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to
> give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will
> return to normal anyway.
> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
> high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several
> support programs, Multi tasking such as Clean 2.5,
> Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2 . However, be
> very careful how you use these programs. Improper
> use will cause the system to launch the
> program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way
> to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
> purchase additional software. I recommend
> Chocolates 2.1,Lingeries 3.0 and Flowers 5.0
> STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances,
> install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. and
> FlirtGirls 5.1 This application is not supported by
> Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the
> operating system. Thus may cause a total "ShutDown".
> Best of luck,
> Tech Support
Kenmoo2007 reply:,

Dear Tech Support & "A Troubled User",
Both your feedback & comment is quite interesting however i noticed that some Girlfriend 5.0 software might contain virus. It will also cause total system shutdown if didn't install TLC (Tender Loving Care) version1.1. Basically any system needs to install this program, i highly recomends you do it asap else family pack, pet lover 1.2, toys funpack 1.0 etcs etcs will also shutdown.

So in conclusion both Girlfriend 5.0 & Wife 1.0 is the same since it's from the same developer. Wait till you get baby 1.0 upgrade to 2.0 or 3.0...then you will have the Family pack...but its not compatible with Girlfriend 5.0 lah...cos it will auto prompt you to upgrade your system to Wife 1.0

Best regards,
Kenmoo2007 (IT freak)


Meow's Coffee Break said...

haha, i can see the reply is based on substantial insights n experiences... hahah

Anonymous said...

LoL... good one!

Anonymous said...

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Desperate Housewife

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:
Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot & Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

Kenny said...

A true classic.